Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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