I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
