You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
someone owes me an orgasm
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
