Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
