im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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