There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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