yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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