i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
