yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
