She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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