i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
