is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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