Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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