Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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