I hate your face
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
