dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
