I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
