Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
