let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
