I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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