Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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