too bad you live with your parents still
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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