I hate your face
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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