Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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