I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
