For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize