I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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