The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
