I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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