Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
