Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
