The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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