How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
