I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
