I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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