you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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