I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
