I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
