He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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