The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
