P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
