I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
