I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
