I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
