O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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