Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize