Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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