he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
