I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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