Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
