well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
