dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
