I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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